So I was online one night, and I noticed that I received an email from another single dad. I liked his message, and took a look at his profile. He's 32 years old, an engineer, lives in the East End, and has a young daughter. He's cute! He's got a big smile in every picture, and it's infectious! So I respond, and tell him that I like his profile. I mention that I also live in the East End and that I'm a teacher at a nearby school.
The next day, I get an email from him, it says: "With the risk of sounding too forward, would you like to meet for drinks this Friday." Ok, so I'm supposed to have a date with another guy this Friday. I'm not really sure why, but I call the other guy and cancel it. I want to meet this guy. I email him back, and say that I'm free this Friday, and that I would love to meet him.
He responds "Let's meet at 8:00pm at The Globe Bistro on the Danforth". Just like that. This guy is impressing me already. He's not afraid to be forward, and just ask me out right away. He's not afraid to make all the plans and tell me where to meet him. You mean I don't have to suggest a place? Wow, how refreshing! Hmmm...I have a good feeling about this.
Let's just call him: Mr. Millenial.
" The workplace has become a psychological battlefield and the millenials have the upper hand, because they are tech savvy, with every gadget imaginable almost becoming an extension of their bodies. They multitask, talk, walk, listen, type and text. And their priorities are simple: they come first. They're very hardworking. They have the tools to get things done. They are enormously clever and resourceful. Some of them are absolutely incorrigible. It's their way or the highway. These young people will tell you what time their yoga class is and the day's work will be organized around the fact that they have this commitment. So you actually envy them. How wonderful it is to be young and have your priorities so clear." (Taken from "The 'Millenials' are Coming")
Date Night
It's Friday, and I really know nothing about this guy. We haven't even talked on the phone. I don't even know what he sounds like, and I'm meeting him in a couple of hours.
OMG!! What should I wear?
I've got it narrowed down to three dresses. My standard black dress that I wear all the time. I love this dress! My sexy green dress that is quite tight, and therefore totally unforgiving if I want to eat carbs! It's January afterall...and carbs are an essential element of winter survival. I decide to wear a new dress that I bought that I actually haven't worn on a date before. It's beautiful, and it's really colourful...mostly red and black and beige. It looks like a tapestry. I think to myself "I want this to be a new experience...no more bad dates...so I'm going to wear a dress that I haven't worn before." I'm worried though, because it's the least conservative of the three, but you know what? It's the most like me. Let's hope he likes it!!
So as I'm getting ready, I think to myself "I wonder if I should eat before, or if we'll be having dinner..." I decide to text him and ask. Why not?
He calls me back right away. I ask him, and we decide to make it drinks with the possibility of dinner. I love the sound of his voice. I can't even tell you what exactly it is about it, but I love it. I'm not nervous anymore.
I walk in, and I see him sitting at the bar talking to the bartender. He looks confident and happy. He sees me, and stands up and we greet each other. I take my coat off, and he compliments me on my dress. Yay!! I made the right choice. I also like what he's wearing, and so I tell him. Plus, I touch his shirt and ask him if it's linen.
I've already touched him...oh no Girl Friday...take it slow!!!
He's already got a drink, and so I look at the cocktail list. The last drink on the menu is called the "Northern Sky". OMG...that is a sign. "Northern Sky" is my favourite Nick Drake song. It's my song. This is going to be a great date...I can FEEL it! So, of course I order it. It tastes like a flower. I feel like I'm drinking a flower. I insist that he tastes it too. He takes a sip. (Little does he know that he's just fallen in love with me). There are countless tales of romance, and one thing that many-if not all of them have in common- is that the pair share a drink and fall madly in love.
He's fantastic. He's smart, funny, interesting. Every time I look at him, I get tingles. We have so much in common it's ridiculous. Our conversation is effortless. He's well travelled and has lived abroad. He speaks French, sails boats and scuba dives!!! I'm not joking. Oh, and did I mention that he's a trained gourmet chef?
We've had our cocktails, and we've shared our dinners. So we order dessert, and I tell him about how my new year's resolution is to learn how to salsa dance. Guess what he says? Of course he does!
He can salsa dance as well. In fact, he takes a look at the shoes that I've got on, and he says "Let's go!". He takes me to a salsa club up at Yonge and Eglinton. It was so much fun. Talk about being spontaneous! I was terrible! But who cares! He didn't. In fact, he kissed me a few times as we danced...this guy has scored huge points with me tonight.
We share a taxi home, and we can't keep our hands off each other! We get out and take a look at the view of the city along Broadview, close to where I live. He walks me home, and asks me if he can see me again. I say YES, of course! Like I could say no! This guy is kind of perfect for me...yikes!!
I want to invite him up, but I have a rule about that on the first date! I tell him that, and he laughs saying that it's such a teacher thing to say...that I have a rule about it...teachers and their rules. We decide to make plans for next week, possibly Thursday. So far away!
We talk on Saturday. I tell him that often on Sundays, I go for a long walk by myself. I ask him if he'd like to come with me. He says yes. I take him to Mount Pleasant Cemetery. I love walking around cemeteries.
That was January 15th...we haven't been apart since.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ciao Bella
Ok, so I was online one night and I noticed that I had received an email from a single dad. The title of the email was "Ciao Bella". Hmmm, an Italian guy. I click to view his profile. He seems normal enough. He's 40, has two boys that he sees on the weekends. He's got some nice pictures up on his profile. One of him next to a motorcycle, another one of him with a buddy on a beach somewhere. What strikes me the most about him though, are his eyes. He's got beautiful blue eyes.
Let's just call him: Mr. Espresso
So in my mind, I have constructed a bit of a "wish list" of what I'm looking for in a man. One thing, in particular that I would really love is a guy who can speak more than one language. I love languages. I speak English and French. In the past, I've studied Spanish and Japanese. I have always wanted to learn Italian. I adore Italy. I love Italian cinema and of course the food. Everyone knows that the best way to learn a language is in bed. What I mean by this, is that when you date someone who speaks another language, you can't help but pick it up quickly. Plus you want to! Your verb tenses might not be the best, but you can talk to someone on the street and have a decent conversation! That's really what matters.
So immediately, one of the first things I ask him is whether or not he speaks Italian. He's fluent!!! Yes!!
Ok, so now I've got to figure out what kind of Italian he is...because that could make it or break it for me! Is he: A: "massive home in Woodbridge, golden furniture Italian?"
or B: "espresso-drinking, nicely tailored suits Italian?"
or!! is he C: "still lives at home with his mother Italian?"....all very different!
I'm discussing this with my hairdresser who is taking a break from the online dating scene for a bit. She just starts to laugh when I tell her that the latest guy is Italian...she says to me: "You're like the United Fucking Colours of Benetton!!" She thinks that despite whatever 'type' of Italian he is, that I should give him a chance because he's a single dad and so we have that in common. I agree.
So, Mr. Espresso has a blackberry, but he's not online (msn etc.) like the other guys, and so he often text messages me, and we also (shock of all shocks) talk on the phone. He sometimes text messages me in Italian...which I absolutely love!! For all I know, he's telling me that he's about to pick up his dry cleaning! But, in Italian, it sounds sexy!!
We've had a few good conversations on the phone. His life seems a bit complicated at the moment, although he insists that it's not. He separated from his wife six months ago, which to me, seems a bit soon to be out there dating. He insists that it's been over for so long, that it's not really an issue for him. His wife lives in the GTA with the kids. He has since moved back into his mother's house (aha!) because they're in the midst of selling their home. Ok, so that's temporary. I might be willing to overlook that part...if he turns out to be nice. He has two boys; they're four and two years old. He says that his ex-wife is still very bitter and angry with him, and so they only communicate through their lawyers. Yikes...that doesn't sound very good at all. In fact, when he picks up the kids, he does so at his mother-in-law's place, because his ex-wife doesn't want to see him at all. Hmmm...I can't help but wonder why.
I ask him point blank if he really feels ready to be out there dating again. From an outsider's point of view it seems so fresh and raw still. He was a bit insulted by this, and again, insisted that he's ready. Who am I to assume that he's not? He also mentioned that he's already been out on a few dates. None of which have really been anything special. He likes that I seem 'normal', and 'down-to-earth'. I also like this about him. He really seems like a relaxed and easy going kind of guy. That's why I'm so curious as to why his ex-wife hates him so passionately. I ask him if she's Italian as well. He says no. Hmmm.
So, I'm a bit on the fence with him. He's very sweet when he talks with me. But there are some little things that I'm not sure about. For instance, I have a feeling that he's kind of religious. I'm not religious at all, but I think I'm quite spiritual. He's asked me about my thoughts on God a few times...that's not exactly online dating small talk! Plus, then this whole thing with his ex-wife hating him so much...I'm just not sure. But, there's something about him that I do like. Besides, it's a date, not an arranged marriage!
So I decide to accept his offer and go out for drinks with him.
Date Night
We decide to meet at a popular bookstore at Yonge and Eglinton because that's close to where he works. He's there by the magazines and sees me right away. He has a small bouquet of red roses for me. Now, you're going to hate me, but even though I thought that it was a sweet gesture, I was a bit annoyed by it because now I have to carry around a bouquet of roses all night! Men! they just can't win.
I take a moment to size him up. He's wearing a gorgeous suit. He looks older than in his pictures. I wonder when those pictures were taken. He looks good, and he's wearing nice glasses. But I can tell right away that I'm not really attracted to him. When I meet a guy, I'm looking for that tingly feeling. I don't feel it with him.
So we walk to a restaurant nearby, and we get a table. It's late, and we've both already eaten. But we share a bottle of wine and some appetizers. And we talk.
I ask him about the motorcycle he has up on his profile. He says that he no longer has it, that he sold it in 2002. I see! So that picture is at least 8 years ago...I thought so. Good detective work Girl Friday!
We talk about travelling. He loves to travel. In fact, he has a house in Aruba...Hmmm...can I muster up that tingly feeling after all? Please, go on, tell me about your house in Aruba. Well, it's not as big as his house in Italy...
Oh really? Hmmm...please do tell! (and yet you're currently living with your mother!)
Damn...still no tingles.
He tells me about the part of Italy that his family is from. It's in the South, close to Sicily. We talk about Italy for a while. He shows me this big gold ring that he's got on. He explains how he and all his close friends from back home have the same one. He also mentions to me that they've all got similar tattoos as well. Hmmm...I like guys who have tattoos, it's one of my weaknesses. I ask him what it is and where it is on his body. He tells me that he's got a large tattoo of the Virgin Mary on his back. OMG! Not exactly what I expected him to say. Umm...that's not sexy!
He asks me about my ex-husband and what our relationship is like. I tell him that we get along fine, and that we've managed to stay quite amicable. He tells me about his ex-wife and how they don't get along. They literally do not speak to each other at all. That doesn't sound good. To me, it seems like he's still got a lot of stuff to work out. I try to steer the conversation into a new direction, but he keeps bringing it up. It is clear to me that he needs to talk about it all, and that he has some issues to resolve. I feel more like a therapist than his date.
"First date" etiquette- Rule #1: don't talk about your ex all night!! it's ok, I don't mind if we talk about them for a few minutes, but not all night. What a way to kill the mood!
Since, it's clear to me, that this date is a bust, I decide to let him talk and get it off his chest. Why am I so nice?
He asks me if I'm a religious person. I tell him, no, not really.
"So you don't believe in God?" he asks.
"First date" etiquette- Rule #2: don't talk about religion!! Another way to kill the mood.
He tells me that he had an affair with another woman. Ahhhhhhhhh...I see.
"First date" etiquette- Rule#3: don't tell the girl that you're trying to impress that you've cheated on your ex-wife!! There's no mood left to kill. He says that his marriage was over long ago, and that he fell for another woman.
Well, no wonder your ex-wife doesn't want to talk to you right now. I can't blame her for that!
This date is over as far as I'm concerned.
All I'm looking for is someone who has their life more or less in order. Is that too much to ask?! Someone who is content with their life. Someone who is easy going and fun. No drama please. I don't even know what to say to him.
It's getting really late, and I'm tired now from the therapy session, so I tell him that I must go. He drives me home. When we get to my place, I thank him, and tell him that I don't think this is going to work. I explain that I just want to be with someone who's life isn't in turmoil right now. I want it to be easy. He wants to see me again. Why? Didn't I just explain that I wasn't interested? Why do I always have to spell it out for them?! It's painful! Let me try it in a language that he should understand.
Aurevoir, Good-bye, Adios... Arrivederci Signor Espresso!
Let's just call him: Mr. Espresso
So in my mind, I have constructed a bit of a "wish list" of what I'm looking for in a man. One thing, in particular that I would really love is a guy who can speak more than one language. I love languages. I speak English and French. In the past, I've studied Spanish and Japanese. I have always wanted to learn Italian. I adore Italy. I love Italian cinema and of course the food. Everyone knows that the best way to learn a language is in bed. What I mean by this, is that when you date someone who speaks another language, you can't help but pick it up quickly. Plus you want to! Your verb tenses might not be the best, but you can talk to someone on the street and have a decent conversation! That's really what matters.
So immediately, one of the first things I ask him is whether or not he speaks Italian. He's fluent!!! Yes!!
Ok, so now I've got to figure out what kind of Italian he is...because that could make it or break it for me! Is he: A: "massive home in Woodbridge, golden furniture Italian?"
or B: "espresso-drinking, nicely tailored suits Italian?"
or!! is he C: "still lives at home with his mother Italian?"....all very different!
I'm discussing this with my hairdresser who is taking a break from the online dating scene for a bit. She just starts to laugh when I tell her that the latest guy is Italian...she says to me: "You're like the United Fucking Colours of Benetton!!" She thinks that despite whatever 'type' of Italian he is, that I should give him a chance because he's a single dad and so we have that in common. I agree.
So, Mr. Espresso has a blackberry, but he's not online (msn etc.) like the other guys, and so he often text messages me, and we also (shock of all shocks) talk on the phone. He sometimes text messages me in Italian...which I absolutely love!! For all I know, he's telling me that he's about to pick up his dry cleaning! But, in Italian, it sounds sexy!!
We've had a few good conversations on the phone. His life seems a bit complicated at the moment, although he insists that it's not. He separated from his wife six months ago, which to me, seems a bit soon to be out there dating. He insists that it's been over for so long, that it's not really an issue for him. His wife lives in the GTA with the kids. He has since moved back into his mother's house (aha!) because they're in the midst of selling their home. Ok, so that's temporary. I might be willing to overlook that part...if he turns out to be nice. He has two boys; they're four and two years old. He says that his ex-wife is still very bitter and angry with him, and so they only communicate through their lawyers. Yikes...that doesn't sound very good at all. In fact, when he picks up the kids, he does so at his mother-in-law's place, because his ex-wife doesn't want to see him at all. Hmmm...I can't help but wonder why.
I ask him point blank if he really feels ready to be out there dating again. From an outsider's point of view it seems so fresh and raw still. He was a bit insulted by this, and again, insisted that he's ready. Who am I to assume that he's not? He also mentioned that he's already been out on a few dates. None of which have really been anything special. He likes that I seem 'normal', and 'down-to-earth'. I also like this about him. He really seems like a relaxed and easy going kind of guy. That's why I'm so curious as to why his ex-wife hates him so passionately. I ask him if she's Italian as well. He says no. Hmmm.
So, I'm a bit on the fence with him. He's very sweet when he talks with me. But there are some little things that I'm not sure about. For instance, I have a feeling that he's kind of religious. I'm not religious at all, but I think I'm quite spiritual. He's asked me about my thoughts on God a few times...that's not exactly online dating small talk! Plus, then this whole thing with his ex-wife hating him so much...I'm just not sure. But, there's something about him that I do like. Besides, it's a date, not an arranged marriage!
So I decide to accept his offer and go out for drinks with him.
Date Night
We decide to meet at a popular bookstore at Yonge and Eglinton because that's close to where he works. He's there by the magazines and sees me right away. He has a small bouquet of red roses for me. Now, you're going to hate me, but even though I thought that it was a sweet gesture, I was a bit annoyed by it because now I have to carry around a bouquet of roses all night! Men! they just can't win.
I take a moment to size him up. He's wearing a gorgeous suit. He looks older than in his pictures. I wonder when those pictures were taken. He looks good, and he's wearing nice glasses. But I can tell right away that I'm not really attracted to him. When I meet a guy, I'm looking for that tingly feeling. I don't feel it with him.
So we walk to a restaurant nearby, and we get a table. It's late, and we've both already eaten. But we share a bottle of wine and some appetizers. And we talk.
I ask him about the motorcycle he has up on his profile. He says that he no longer has it, that he sold it in 2002. I see! So that picture is at least 8 years ago...I thought so. Good detective work Girl Friday!
We talk about travelling. He loves to travel. In fact, he has a house in Aruba...Hmmm...can I muster up that tingly feeling after all? Please, go on, tell me about your house in Aruba. Well, it's not as big as his house in Italy...
Oh really? Hmmm...please do tell! (and yet you're currently living with your mother!)
Damn...still no tingles.
He tells me about the part of Italy that his family is from. It's in the South, close to Sicily. We talk about Italy for a while. He shows me this big gold ring that he's got on. He explains how he and all his close friends from back home have the same one. He also mentions to me that they've all got similar tattoos as well. Hmmm...I like guys who have tattoos, it's one of my weaknesses. I ask him what it is and where it is on his body. He tells me that he's got a large tattoo of the Virgin Mary on his back. OMG! Not exactly what I expected him to say. Umm...that's not sexy!
He asks me about my ex-husband and what our relationship is like. I tell him that we get along fine, and that we've managed to stay quite amicable. He tells me about his ex-wife and how they don't get along. They literally do not speak to each other at all. That doesn't sound good. To me, it seems like he's still got a lot of stuff to work out. I try to steer the conversation into a new direction, but he keeps bringing it up. It is clear to me that he needs to talk about it all, and that he has some issues to resolve. I feel more like a therapist than his date.
"First date" etiquette- Rule #1: don't talk about your ex all night!! it's ok, I don't mind if we talk about them for a few minutes, but not all night. What a way to kill the mood!
Since, it's clear to me, that this date is a bust, I decide to let him talk and get it off his chest. Why am I so nice?
He asks me if I'm a religious person. I tell him, no, not really.
"So you don't believe in God?" he asks.
"First date" etiquette- Rule #2: don't talk about religion!! Another way to kill the mood.
He tells me that he had an affair with another woman. Ahhhhhhhhh...I see.
"First date" etiquette- Rule#3: don't tell the girl that you're trying to impress that you've cheated on your ex-wife!! There's no mood left to kill. He says that his marriage was over long ago, and that he fell for another woman.
Well, no wonder your ex-wife doesn't want to talk to you right now. I can't blame her for that!
This date is over as far as I'm concerned.
All I'm looking for is someone who has their life more or less in order. Is that too much to ask?! Someone who is content with their life. Someone who is easy going and fun. No drama please. I don't even know what to say to him.
It's getting really late, and I'm tired now from the therapy session, so I tell him that I must go. He drives me home. When we get to my place, I thank him, and tell him that I don't think this is going to work. I explain that I just want to be with someone who's life isn't in turmoil right now. I want it to be easy. He wants to see me again. Why? Didn't I just explain that I wasn't interested? Why do I always have to spell it out for them?! It's painful! Let me try it in a language that he should understand.
Aurevoir, Good-bye, Adios... Arrivederci Signor Espresso!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
in the mood for love
Ok, so I was online one night, and I noticed that I received an email from another cute Asian guy. His email said: "You should wear your vintage hats out!" In my profile, I mention that I collect vintage hats, but that "I only wear them in the house..." So I click on his profile to see what he's about. He has some cool pictures of himself up. He's a photographer. He's athletic, he plays volleyball in a league. He loves movies. We actually seem to have a lot in common. So I decide to respond to his email.
The next day, he sends me an email asking me what movies I like. In particular, if there are any recent ones that I've seen lately that impressed me with their dialogue (in my profile, I mention that I like old movies because they always have great dialogue).
Well, at least I know he's read my profile!
Let's just call him: Mr. Volleyball.
After sending a few emails back and forth we decide to talk on MSN one night. We have an AWESOME conversation. He's really funny. We talked about all kinds of things. He told me about how he wants to learn Cantonese, but that his mother (who speaks Mandarin) wouldn't approve. I told him that he should learn it in secret...how "scandalous!" I said. He laughed at that. He's a CBC (which is a new term for me...a Canadian Born Chinese). He's never been to China, and he doesn't really speak Chinese.
We talked about life and the places that we've lived. We talked about the countries that we've travelled to, and where our favourite trips have been. His was a road trip in Europe, whereas mine was a trip to China. I told him that in a past life I was Chinese! (I really believe that!) He laughed and said: "shopping at T&T doesn't make you Chinese in a past life!" So then I went into more detail...and I think I've got him partially convinced. We then talked about what kinds of food we love and what our last meals on earth would be. I told him about my love of desserts. He said that he's got a banana cream pie in the fridge as we speak...birds of a feather...
He's really into movies and so naturally we talked about what types of films we like. From the French film makers like Goddard and movies like Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, to the old classics to current film makers like Tarantino. He then asked me if there were any Asian film makers that I liked. Without hesitation, I said "Yes, one of my most favourite directors is Asian". He said "Really? Who?" I said "Wong Kar Wai".
He told me that he was very impressed. He said that many of his Asian friends don't even know who he is. He also loves him. He asked me which one of his films was my favourite. I said "Chungking Express".
Now if you haven't seen a Wong Kar Wai film, you truly are missing out. His films are exquisite. They are amazing. They usually take place in Hong Kong, and are so beautiful- visually and thematically. They're always about heartbreak and love, and the connections (no matter how small) that people have between each other. I urge you to see Chungking Express. At the time, it had a huge impact on my life!
I asked him which one he liked the most. He said that Chungking Express was awesome, but that without a doubt his favourite is "in the mood for love".
That one is sooooooooo good...so romantic...
I need to take a deep breath for a moment here.
Right then and there, I decide that I must meet this guy.
He asks me if I'd like to go out sometime. I say "are you free tomorrow night?" He says yes, and then we discussed what we should do...from meeting at T&T for a shopping date...to finding an indoor arena to go ice skating in!!! This guys is totally right up my alley. Oh, no!!!
Date Nights
For our first date, we met at Yonge and Dundas and simply walked West. We walked and talked along Queen St. until we found a cool place to eat. We chose a Tibetan restaurant, which was perfect. It didn't really matter though, because we could have been anywhere our conversation was just so great. It was effortless and fun. We ended the night by walking back to Yonge and Dundas. As we walked we kissed a few times and he held my hand, which was cute. We made plans to see each other again. What a great date!
So over the course of a few weeks we've had a few dates here and there. Movie nights, shopping together, long walks...but my favourite date was when he took me out for sushi...
Again, we met at Yonge and Dundas. This time he wanted to take me to his favourite sushi restaurant. It was a nice place. It felt really Japanese in the sense that it felt like a place that I would go to when I lived in Japan. Right away he scored huge points with me because he ordered us some hot sake. Most people like it cold, but I love it hot. That was a good sign. When it came time to order food, he asked me what I wanted and said that he likes everything...how nice! Much better than my last sushi experience! We have the same taste in food as well. We shared everything and talked and talked and talked. We talked a lot about movies. I think I impressed him with the amount of Asian films that I've seen. What impressed me the most about him, was his sense of humour. We find the same things funny. We left the restaurant and went to a popular dessert place for some cake. (I love that thanks to my 'catch phrase' every date ends with cake!!)
But ladies, the date didn't actually end with cake...it ended with me inviting him back to my place!!! So he came home with me that night...and it was great! That was my first time sleeping with an Asian guy!! Hurray!! He knows what he's doing, and he's "here to represent!"- his words, not mine. The next morning we slept in and then we went out for breakfast. It was fun! He couldn't keep his hands off me!
This guy is fun, and kind of kinky. He was the one that asked me online one night if he could eat a piece of cake off my belly...Another night we were talking online and he asked me to send him a sexy picture of myself...so I agreed and took a few shots of myself in a really sexy bra...and I emailed them to him.
He emails me back and says "did you send them?" I said yes, and double checked his email address which is his name at gmail...
He emails again...still nothing!!! So then I repeat his email address to him, and he says "NOOO!! My name plus '88' at gmail..."
Ohhhhhhhhh Nooooooooo!!!!! I've just sent half naked pictures of myself to some random Chinese man!!! I call him immediately and he's laughing so hard he can barely talk to me!! So not funny!!!! Actually, it's hilarious!! I can't stop laughing either. I beg him to send a half naked picture of himself to the same address as a joke, but he won't!
Finally, I send him my pictures again because he's really dying to see them now. He says that the 'other' guy will be pretty thrilled when he opens up his email!!
So we continue to have a good time together out on dates and in the bedroom. Although, if I must compare...Mr. Trouble has got him beat in that department. However, we can actually carry on a real conversation...
One night we're in bed, and he asks me if I'm seeing other guys...here we go...
I tell him that I've been out on a few dates. He asks if I've had sex with any of them.
Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ok, so I was partially honest with him. I told him yes, with one guy, but that it's now over (small lie) because we didn't really have anything in common (completely true).
He says, "A white guy?"...
Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ummm...no...
He's a little surprised because he knows that he's the first Asian guy that I've been with...it takes him a moment...and then he clues in. "A Black dude?" he says.
Ummm...yes...
I immediately regret telling him the truth. He won't let it go. He wants to know what he's like in bed. How they quite literally 'compare' to each other. I don't divulge that information. In fact, I tell him that I really like being with him, and that I love that we have so much in common. He equates this to him not being as 'good' in bed...
Things kind of go downhill from there. Over the next few weeks, he's really hot and cold with me. I'm realising that he's actually quite insecure. He keeps sending me all these mixed messages...I'm totally confused. Sometimes he tells me that he doesn't want anything serious. That he wants it to be 'casually intimate'. I say that's fine with me. Then he'll change his tune and says that he wants me all to himself, and gets upset when I tell him that I've got plans without him. Other times, he's making sure that I know that we're not 'exclusive'. My gut says that he likes me, but maybe I'm totally wrong. He definitely doesn't want me to know it, if he does.
I like this guy, but it's starting to not be much fun anymore- outside and inside the bedroom. Oh man...what have I done?
I know exactly what I've done! I was honest with him! Lesson learned. Lie when it comes to sex. Even when you think they're mature enough for the real answer to the question THAT THEY ASKED...lie!
And so ladies, unfortunately, life imitates art in this one...
Just like in the film...the main characters who are so completely perfect for each other in every way...somehow manage to let it all fall through their fingers...and they move on...apart...
fin
The next day, he sends me an email asking me what movies I like. In particular, if there are any recent ones that I've seen lately that impressed me with their dialogue (in my profile, I mention that I like old movies because they always have great dialogue).
Well, at least I know he's read my profile!
Let's just call him: Mr. Volleyball.
After sending a few emails back and forth we decide to talk on MSN one night. We have an AWESOME conversation. He's really funny. We talked about all kinds of things. He told me about how he wants to learn Cantonese, but that his mother (who speaks Mandarin) wouldn't approve. I told him that he should learn it in secret...how "scandalous!" I said. He laughed at that. He's a CBC (which is a new term for me...a Canadian Born Chinese). He's never been to China, and he doesn't really speak Chinese.
We talked about life and the places that we've lived. We talked about the countries that we've travelled to, and where our favourite trips have been. His was a road trip in Europe, whereas mine was a trip to China. I told him that in a past life I was Chinese! (I really believe that!) He laughed and said: "shopping at T&T doesn't make you Chinese in a past life!" So then I went into more detail...and I think I've got him partially convinced. We then talked about what kinds of food we love and what our last meals on earth would be. I told him about my love of desserts. He said that he's got a banana cream pie in the fridge as we speak...birds of a feather...
He's really into movies and so naturally we talked about what types of films we like. From the French film makers like Goddard and movies like Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, to the old classics to current film makers like Tarantino. He then asked me if there were any Asian film makers that I liked. Without hesitation, I said "Yes, one of my most favourite directors is Asian". He said "Really? Who?" I said "Wong Kar Wai".
He told me that he was very impressed. He said that many of his Asian friends don't even know who he is. He also loves him. He asked me which one of his films was my favourite. I said "Chungking Express".
Now if you haven't seen a Wong Kar Wai film, you truly are missing out. His films are exquisite. They are amazing. They usually take place in Hong Kong, and are so beautiful- visually and thematically. They're always about heartbreak and love, and the connections (no matter how small) that people have between each other. I urge you to see Chungking Express. At the time, it had a huge impact on my life!
I asked him which one he liked the most. He said that Chungking Express was awesome, but that without a doubt his favourite is "in the mood for love".
That one is sooooooooo good...so romantic...
I need to take a deep breath for a moment here.
Right then and there, I decide that I must meet this guy.
He asks me if I'd like to go out sometime. I say "are you free tomorrow night?" He says yes, and then we discussed what we should do...from meeting at T&T for a shopping date...to finding an indoor arena to go ice skating in!!! This guys is totally right up my alley. Oh, no!!!
Date Nights
For our first date, we met at Yonge and Dundas and simply walked West. We walked and talked along Queen St. until we found a cool place to eat. We chose a Tibetan restaurant, which was perfect. It didn't really matter though, because we could have been anywhere our conversation was just so great. It was effortless and fun. We ended the night by walking back to Yonge and Dundas. As we walked we kissed a few times and he held my hand, which was cute. We made plans to see each other again. What a great date!
So over the course of a few weeks we've had a few dates here and there. Movie nights, shopping together, long walks...but my favourite date was when he took me out for sushi...
Again, we met at Yonge and Dundas. This time he wanted to take me to his favourite sushi restaurant. It was a nice place. It felt really Japanese in the sense that it felt like a place that I would go to when I lived in Japan. Right away he scored huge points with me because he ordered us some hot sake. Most people like it cold, but I love it hot. That was a good sign. When it came time to order food, he asked me what I wanted and said that he likes everything...how nice! Much better than my last sushi experience! We have the same taste in food as well. We shared everything and talked and talked and talked. We talked a lot about movies. I think I impressed him with the amount of Asian films that I've seen. What impressed me the most about him, was his sense of humour. We find the same things funny. We left the restaurant and went to a popular dessert place for some cake. (I love that thanks to my 'catch phrase' every date ends with cake!!)
But ladies, the date didn't actually end with cake...it ended with me inviting him back to my place!!! So he came home with me that night...and it was great! That was my first time sleeping with an Asian guy!! Hurray!! He knows what he's doing, and he's "here to represent!"- his words, not mine. The next morning we slept in and then we went out for breakfast. It was fun! He couldn't keep his hands off me!
This guy is fun, and kind of kinky. He was the one that asked me online one night if he could eat a piece of cake off my belly...Another night we were talking online and he asked me to send him a sexy picture of myself...so I agreed and took a few shots of myself in a really sexy bra...and I emailed them to him.
He emails me back and says "did you send them?" I said yes, and double checked his email address which is his name at gmail...
He emails again...still nothing!!! So then I repeat his email address to him, and he says "NOOO!! My name plus '88' at gmail..."
Ohhhhhhhhh Nooooooooo!!!!! I've just sent half naked pictures of myself to some random Chinese man!!! I call him immediately and he's laughing so hard he can barely talk to me!! So not funny!!!! Actually, it's hilarious!! I can't stop laughing either. I beg him to send a half naked picture of himself to the same address as a joke, but he won't!
Finally, I send him my pictures again because he's really dying to see them now. He says that the 'other' guy will be pretty thrilled when he opens up his email!!
So we continue to have a good time together out on dates and in the bedroom. Although, if I must compare...Mr. Trouble has got him beat in that department. However, we can actually carry on a real conversation...
One night we're in bed, and he asks me if I'm seeing other guys...here we go...
I tell him that I've been out on a few dates. He asks if I've had sex with any of them.
Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ok, so I was partially honest with him. I told him yes, with one guy, but that it's now over (small lie) because we didn't really have anything in common (completely true).
He says, "A white guy?"...
Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ummm...no...
He's a little surprised because he knows that he's the first Asian guy that I've been with...it takes him a moment...and then he clues in. "A Black dude?" he says.
Ummm...yes...
I immediately regret telling him the truth. He won't let it go. He wants to know what he's like in bed. How they quite literally 'compare' to each other. I don't divulge that information. In fact, I tell him that I really like being with him, and that I love that we have so much in common. He equates this to him not being as 'good' in bed...
Things kind of go downhill from there. Over the next few weeks, he's really hot and cold with me. I'm realising that he's actually quite insecure. He keeps sending me all these mixed messages...I'm totally confused. Sometimes he tells me that he doesn't want anything serious. That he wants it to be 'casually intimate'. I say that's fine with me. Then he'll change his tune and says that he wants me all to himself, and gets upset when I tell him that I've got plans without him. Other times, he's making sure that I know that we're not 'exclusive'. My gut says that he likes me, but maybe I'm totally wrong. He definitely doesn't want me to know it, if he does.
I like this guy, but it's starting to not be much fun anymore- outside and inside the bedroom. Oh man...what have I done?
I know exactly what I've done! I was honest with him! Lesson learned. Lie when it comes to sex. Even when you think they're mature enough for the real answer to the question THAT THEY ASKED...lie!
And so ladies, unfortunately, life imitates art in this one...
Just like in the film...the main characters who are so completely perfect for each other in every way...somehow manage to let it all fall through their fingers...and they move on...apart...
fin
Saturday, December 5, 2009
It's not me, it's you
Ok, so I was online one night checking to see if I had any new smiles etc. and I noticed that I received a smile from an Asian guy. I've never dated an Asian guy before. I'm not sure why that is. I click on his picture to get a better look. He's cute! So I take a look at his profile. He's 40, has a son, enjoys his career and seems pretty happy with his life. The only thing missing, is that he wants to find someone to share it with. Sounds ok, but still, I'm a bit on the fence. Then I read the last line of his profile where he explains what he's looking for in a woman: "An antidote to my intensity. Someone I can trust implicitly, respect intellectually, and desire infinitely."
Sold!
Let's just call him: Mr. Serious.
I immediately respond with a smile back. He sends me an email, and so we talk that way back and forth for a bit. It turns out we really have a lot in common. He lived in Japan for a long time. So we instantly had a connection there. His son was actually born in Japan. He sends me little emails in Japanese, which I love. He's Korean, but he speaks Japanese as well. He loves travelling and has been all over the world. He owns a house in the Annex and lives there with his son. His ex-wife is no longer in the picture. She lives in California, and chooses not to be in her son's life. So he's raising his son on his own, with the help of his family who also live in the city. I can tell that this guy isn't like the other ones. He's serious. He wants to find a partner.
We exchange email addresses and decide to talk on MSN. We have some amazing conversations. He's so intense. I like everything he says. We seem to be cut from the same cloth. It's actually a bit scary how we have the same thoughts, and finish each other's sentences. Now I'm starting to get nervous that I'm going to fall for this guy. I've only seen one picture of him, and I've never even heard his voice, but I think he might be the one. This is crazy!
Over the next few days, we talk about everything from marriage to meditation. Finally, I say to him that we should meet. I tell him that even though it's a school night, I promise to have him home at a reasonable hour! He think's that's great, but can't because he's actually in Kingston right now for work. WHAT!??! He's working for the military in Kingston, and will be there until the end of February. I knew it!! Just too good to be true!! But, he says that he'll be back this weekend. The only thing is I've got other dates this weekend, and so I can't meet up with him. I don't tell him this of course...I just make up an excuse. He says that he won't be back until two weeks from then, and so we decide to meet up then.
We continue to talk on MSN, and things are starting to get a bit sexy. He's telling me what he wants in a woman, and what he finds attractive etc. I tell him what I like as well. Then he asks me if he can call me because he wants to hear my voice. I say sure! So he calls me.
His voice doesn't match what I thought he'd sound like at all. I thought his voice would be kind of deep and sexy, but it's not! In fact, it's kind of turning me off. I'm assuming that he's going to want to keep our sexy online conversation going, but instead he just keeps talking about his job, and how stressful it is. I sympathize, but I'm not really interested in talking about that. I keep trying to steer the conversation in another direction, but he keeps bringing it back. He's not one to really joke around either. He doesn't make any jokes or try to get me to laugh. Then I notice, that he hasn't really asked me any questions. So I ask him why that is, and isn't there anything about me that he wants to know. He says that he has a pretty good idea of what I'm about. This surprises me. So you've got me all figured out...I kind of take offence to this. This conversation is boring me, and so I tell him that I have to go...
The next day, he sends me this amazing email, and I'm excited about him again. This is so confusing. It's like he's two people. His online personality makes my heart swoon, but when I talk to him in person, he totally falls flat. The only thing I can think of, is that maybe he's a bit nervous on the phone.
I send him a test to complete! Things like: tea vs. coffee, getting up early vs. sleeping in late, Paris vs. Barcelona...you get the picture. All day he texted me his responses. He passed the test with flying colours. So now I'm reassured that I like this guy and that I still want to meet him.
So we decide to meet and go out for dinner on the Saturday when he gets back into town.
Date Night
I'm a bit nervous for this one. I really feel a connection with this guy, and I'm worried that when I meet him, there won't be any chemistry. This time, it takes me forever to decide what to wear.
I take the subway to meet him, and I bring my ipod to listen to on my way. It randomly shuffles and plays all my favourite songs as I'm on the subway! I take this as a good sign, and so I relax a bit. This date is going to be memorable...I can just feel it!
We agreed to meet at the subway and walk to Korea town and have dinner at his friend's sushi restaurant.
When we finally meet, I think to myself "Yeah, he's cute". Then he opens his mouth...and this is the first thing he says to me: "Is that your winter coat? I thought you'd show more skin." Ah, did you just actually say that? Then I notice the shoes that he's got on. They have slight heels, or like platforms, so as to make him look taller. I just keep my mouth shut. That's rich him telling me that he'd thought I'd show more skin. What a thing to say! Meanwhile he's wearing high heels!
So we're at the restaurant, and he immediately orders a bottle of sake, which is good. I love sake; and I have a feeling that I'm going to need a drink tonight! He then proceeds to order for us. He doesn't even ask me what I like, or if there's something that I DON'T like. He just goes for it. I suppose some women like it when guys order for them. I'm not really one of them. I didn't like it. But still, I keep thinking give him a chance...sometimes I feel that I'm way too picky about little things and that I should relax a bit more with this stuff.
He tells me about his family. He tells me about his ex-wife and how recently she has expressed an interest in having a relationship with her son. I tell him that this is wonderful. He doesn't agree. I've opened up a sore spot with him. I quickly realize that even though it was ten years ago, he still has a lot of anger and resentment towards her. That is none of my business, but it makes me unsure about him. He is intense, but maybe not in the way that I thought. I don't want to spend my time with someone who is angry. I can't.
He asks me if I'm going out on other dates. I'm not sure what to say, but before I even get the chance to respond, he says "Because I'm a very jealous guy, and if you're with me, you're with me that's it." Hello!! This is technically our first date. I know we've been chatting for a few weeks, but come on!
He tells me about his cottage and how when "we" go up there, he wants to take me to some place (I forget what he said). I stopped listening after he said "we"...he just assumes that I would want to go. He's acting like we're already a couple! Oh man! How could I have gotten it so wrong?!
Now my main concern is: How am I going to survive this date?
He's orders another bottle of sake, and it dawns on me that maybe he's trying to get me drunk. I tell him that we need to order more food because I'm feeling tipsy. So we do.
I ask him again how come he never has any questions about me or my life. Again he tells me that he's got me all figured out. I tell him that I'm offended by that. Realizing that I'm not amused, he tries to back pedal a bit. I think it's dawning on him that maybe I'm not having as much fun as he seems to be; and that maybe the night isn't going to end the way that he's got planned. I was actually thinking (before I met him-how funny is that statement?!) that the only question mark that I have about him, is whether or not we're compatible in bed. I was actually entertaining the thought of inviting him back to my place if I really liked him. Well, not anymore...
The date just goes downhill from there. It's too much to go into really. There were so many little things that I couldn't believe that he was actually saying to me...like how is sister-in-law doesn't have 'childbearing hips'...don't even ask! To that he knew that I wouldn't be fat. To that he never uses condoms, and so when (not IF, but WHEN) I go home with him tonight, I need to be prepared for that.
Ok, am I on candid camera?
I think this guy might be a little bit unstable...Hmmm. How am I going to get out of this?
This is what I WANT to say to him (and do later in an email):
"I've just met you for the first time in person. We met, on an INTERNET DATING SITE!! What makes you think that I would EVER have sex with someone like you who clearly has no idea how to talk to and treat a woman!! I would never have unprotected sex with a guy I just met! What are you thinking?! You are crazy."
But in the interest of self-preservation this is what I ACTUALLY said to him:
"Slow down, I've just met you for the first time! I'm not the type of girl to have sex on the first date. Plus, I don't even really know you YET, and so safe sex is a must. I'm really sorry about that. In fact, I'm slightlysurprised that you don't feel the same way considering that you don't even know me!"
Wow, what a mistake I have made. How could something look so good on paper, but be so awful in reality?
(Communism, flowbee, Colin Farrell,...ok, so it's possible)
I keep it light, and finish my drink etc. and then I say the standard "Wow, look at the time, I should be going". He's a bit surprised and asks me if I'd like to see his house. (Nice try). I say "Next time". He insists on walking me to the subway (what a gentleman!). I say goodnight and that I'll call him tomorrow (which of course I don't).
Amazing. Never in my life have I ever been such a poor judge of character. That was nuts!
Memorable alright! A night I won't easily forget.
Sold!
Let's just call him: Mr. Serious.
I immediately respond with a smile back. He sends me an email, and so we talk that way back and forth for a bit. It turns out we really have a lot in common. He lived in Japan for a long time. So we instantly had a connection there. His son was actually born in Japan. He sends me little emails in Japanese, which I love. He's Korean, but he speaks Japanese as well. He loves travelling and has been all over the world. He owns a house in the Annex and lives there with his son. His ex-wife is no longer in the picture. She lives in California, and chooses not to be in her son's life. So he's raising his son on his own, with the help of his family who also live in the city. I can tell that this guy isn't like the other ones. He's serious. He wants to find a partner.
We exchange email addresses and decide to talk on MSN. We have some amazing conversations. He's so intense. I like everything he says. We seem to be cut from the same cloth. It's actually a bit scary how we have the same thoughts, and finish each other's sentences. Now I'm starting to get nervous that I'm going to fall for this guy. I've only seen one picture of him, and I've never even heard his voice, but I think he might be the one. This is crazy!
Over the next few days, we talk about everything from marriage to meditation. Finally, I say to him that we should meet. I tell him that even though it's a school night, I promise to have him home at a reasonable hour! He think's that's great, but can't because he's actually in Kingston right now for work. WHAT!??! He's working for the military in Kingston, and will be there until the end of February. I knew it!! Just too good to be true!! But, he says that he'll be back this weekend. The only thing is I've got other dates this weekend, and so I can't meet up with him. I don't tell him this of course...I just make up an excuse. He says that he won't be back until two weeks from then, and so we decide to meet up then.
We continue to talk on MSN, and things are starting to get a bit sexy. He's telling me what he wants in a woman, and what he finds attractive etc. I tell him what I like as well. Then he asks me if he can call me because he wants to hear my voice. I say sure! So he calls me.
His voice doesn't match what I thought he'd sound like at all. I thought his voice would be kind of deep and sexy, but it's not! In fact, it's kind of turning me off. I'm assuming that he's going to want to keep our sexy online conversation going, but instead he just keeps talking about his job, and how stressful it is. I sympathize, but I'm not really interested in talking about that. I keep trying to steer the conversation in another direction, but he keeps bringing it back. He's not one to really joke around either. He doesn't make any jokes or try to get me to laugh. Then I notice, that he hasn't really asked me any questions. So I ask him why that is, and isn't there anything about me that he wants to know. He says that he has a pretty good idea of what I'm about. This surprises me. So you've got me all figured out...I kind of take offence to this. This conversation is boring me, and so I tell him that I have to go...
The next day, he sends me this amazing email, and I'm excited about him again. This is so confusing. It's like he's two people. His online personality makes my heart swoon, but when I talk to him in person, he totally falls flat. The only thing I can think of, is that maybe he's a bit nervous on the phone.
I send him a test to complete! Things like: tea vs. coffee, getting up early vs. sleeping in late, Paris vs. Barcelona...you get the picture. All day he texted me his responses. He passed the test with flying colours. So now I'm reassured that I like this guy and that I still want to meet him.
So we decide to meet and go out for dinner on the Saturday when he gets back into town.
Date Night
I'm a bit nervous for this one. I really feel a connection with this guy, and I'm worried that when I meet him, there won't be any chemistry. This time, it takes me forever to decide what to wear.
I take the subway to meet him, and I bring my ipod to listen to on my way. It randomly shuffles and plays all my favourite songs as I'm on the subway! I take this as a good sign, and so I relax a bit. This date is going to be memorable...I can just feel it!
We agreed to meet at the subway and walk to Korea town and have dinner at his friend's sushi restaurant.
When we finally meet, I think to myself "Yeah, he's cute". Then he opens his mouth...and this is the first thing he says to me: "Is that your winter coat? I thought you'd show more skin." Ah, did you just actually say that? Then I notice the shoes that he's got on. They have slight heels, or like platforms, so as to make him look taller. I just keep my mouth shut. That's rich him telling me that he'd thought I'd show more skin. What a thing to say! Meanwhile he's wearing high heels!
So we're at the restaurant, and he immediately orders a bottle of sake, which is good. I love sake; and I have a feeling that I'm going to need a drink tonight! He then proceeds to order for us. He doesn't even ask me what I like, or if there's something that I DON'T like. He just goes for it. I suppose some women like it when guys order for them. I'm not really one of them. I didn't like it. But still, I keep thinking give him a chance...sometimes I feel that I'm way too picky about little things and that I should relax a bit more with this stuff.
He tells me about his family. He tells me about his ex-wife and how recently she has expressed an interest in having a relationship with her son. I tell him that this is wonderful. He doesn't agree. I've opened up a sore spot with him. I quickly realize that even though it was ten years ago, he still has a lot of anger and resentment towards her. That is none of my business, but it makes me unsure about him. He is intense, but maybe not in the way that I thought. I don't want to spend my time with someone who is angry. I can't.
He asks me if I'm going out on other dates. I'm not sure what to say, but before I even get the chance to respond, he says "Because I'm a very jealous guy, and if you're with me, you're with me that's it." Hello!! This is technically our first date. I know we've been chatting for a few weeks, but come on!
He tells me about his cottage and how when "we" go up there, he wants to take me to some place (I forget what he said). I stopped listening after he said "we"...he just assumes that I would want to go. He's acting like we're already a couple! Oh man! How could I have gotten it so wrong?!
Now my main concern is: How am I going to survive this date?
He's orders another bottle of sake, and it dawns on me that maybe he's trying to get me drunk. I tell him that we need to order more food because I'm feeling tipsy. So we do.
I ask him again how come he never has any questions about me or my life. Again he tells me that he's got me all figured out. I tell him that I'm offended by that. Realizing that I'm not amused, he tries to back pedal a bit. I think it's dawning on him that maybe I'm not having as much fun as he seems to be; and that maybe the night isn't going to end the way that he's got planned. I was actually thinking (before I met him-how funny is that statement?!) that the only question mark that I have about him, is whether or not we're compatible in bed. I was actually entertaining the thought of inviting him back to my place if I really liked him. Well, not anymore...
The date just goes downhill from there. It's too much to go into really. There were so many little things that I couldn't believe that he was actually saying to me...like how is sister-in-law doesn't have 'childbearing hips'...don't even ask! To that he knew that I wouldn't be fat. To that he never uses condoms, and so when (not IF, but WHEN) I go home with him tonight, I need to be prepared for that.
Ok, am I on candid camera?
I think this guy might be a little bit unstable...Hmmm. How am I going to get out of this?
This is what I WANT to say to him (and do later in an email):
"I've just met you for the first time in person. We met, on an INTERNET DATING SITE!! What makes you think that I would EVER have sex with someone like you who clearly has no idea how to talk to and treat a woman!! I would never have unprotected sex with a guy I just met! What are you thinking?! You are crazy."
But in the interest of self-preservation this is what I ACTUALLY said to him:
"Slow down, I've just met you for the first time! I'm not the type of girl to have sex on the first date. Plus, I don't even really know you YET, and so safe sex is a must. I'm really sorry about that. In fact, I'm slightlysurprised that you don't feel the same way considering that you don't even know me!"
Wow, what a mistake I have made. How could something look so good on paper, but be so awful in reality?
(Communism, flowbee, Colin Farrell,...ok, so it's possible)
I keep it light, and finish my drink etc. and then I say the standard "Wow, look at the time, I should be going". He's a bit surprised and asks me if I'd like to see his house. (Nice try). I say "Next time". He insists on walking me to the subway (what a gentleman!). I say goodnight and that I'll call him tomorrow (which of course I don't).
Amazing. Never in my life have I ever been such a poor judge of character. That was nuts!
Memorable alright! A night I won't easily forget.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Text and the City
Ok, so now I remember why people get married!!! Dating is too much work! I'm exhausted! You have to be so organized. You have to look good all the time! You have to have witty things to say, and laugh at their jokes. You have to have fresh breath in the morning and smell good all the time. This is serious work! You have to remember what outfits you wore and with whom! In retrospect, I should have made it easier on myself, and wore the same thing with each date. For date one...black dress. Date two...green sexy dress. Date three...jeans and low-cut shirt etc.
But the most important thing ladies...is that you have to remember what you've said to each guy and not get them mixed up. They don't like it when you say things like "So you were in Japan for a while, so was I..." and they say: "No, I've never been to Japan before." Right, sorry about that. AWKWARD!!!
Or when you run into someone you know on the street and you introduce them to your "friend", and it takes you two seconds too long...to remember their name. In those two seconds he knows that he's not the only guy taking you out these days. Again kind of AWKWARD!!!
I'm currently involved (in one way or another) with three guys. I've had sex with two of them, and I'm not going to have sex with the third because that's way too trashy-even for me. One has to go before I introduce the third into my life that way.
Like I've said before, dating has changed since I was last on the scene. Things are so complicated now. The other day, I received text messages from all three of them all day. It is so hard trying to keep three separate conversations going at the same time! Thankfully, they have such different personalities that so far I haven't slipped up. Mr. Trouble is easy because he's always got the sexual innuendoes in his messages. I've got him figured out.
The other two guys, take more work. I haven't even gotten to them on the blog yet. All I'll say, is that they're both Asian...which is a new thing for me! For some reason, I don't know why, I've never dated an Asian guy before.
To make things easier for myself, I usually start all the conversations pretty much the same way, and so at first it's fine because I'm asking them the same questions and they're basically giving me the same answers. Then the conversations go in different directions. Like I mentioned with Mr. Trouble...it always goes back to sex. With Asian Guy #1-whom from now on, I'm going to call: Mr. Volleyball (I will blog about him soon). He and I have so much in common and we truly have a great time together. Our conversations are great. No effort is needed to keep them going. He makes me laugh all the time. I get excited when I see a text from him, because I know it's going to be sweet. We might actually like each other.
Asian Guy #2-whom from now on I'm going to call: Mr. Serious is a bit harder. He always brings the conversation back to his work, which I don't find all that interesting. (I will blog about him soon as well).
Mr. Volleyball and Mr. Serious have the same initials. Both their first names start with "J" and their last names start with "L". So naturally, they are right next to each other in my contact list on my phone. I can't tell you how many times I've had a slight panic attack thinking that I've just sent a text to the wrong one. I swear my heart stops for a second every time. Something's got to give, because it's just a matter of time before I screw up and get caught.
We text each other all the time, and yet we rarely speak to each other on the phone. At first I thought that it was kind of strange to talk that way instead of actually 'talking' to each other. But, now I think that in some ways it's more freeing. Some people don't like to talk on the phone, and are therefore nervous. This way, there are no awkward silences, and you have a moment to think of something sexy or funny to say. I am much more bold when I text them, than when I talk to them on the phone. For example, one of them jokingly asked me if I would let him eat a piece of cake off my belly. I responded: "That depends on whether you plan to use a fork or your tongue"!!! I would never have the guts to be so bold on the phone.
It's funny when you actually speak to them for the first time. You've had this idea in your mind through the conversations online, what they're like, and so when you hear their voice for the first time, sometimes it doesn't match your idea of them. I immediately liked the sound of Mr. Trouble's voice, and I also loved the sound of Mr. Volleyball's voice. They both matched my idea of what they would sound like. Mr. Serious however, didn't match. I haven't blogged about him yet, but online and in his text messages, he seems very passionate and intense. So, when I heard him talk the first time, I was quite surprised because he didn't sound that way at all. Plus, he was so boring to talk to on the phone. I was so confused about him, because we would have such great conversations online, and yet he seemed so flat on the phone. But, like I mentioned before, some people just don't like to talk on the phone.
When Mr. Volleyball and I decided to meet and go out for the first time, he actually said to me, before he called me to discuss what we wanted to do, that he hoped that I would like the sound of his voice. I laughed and said that I'm sure that I would. So when he called me, he purposely put on a really silly squeaky voice as he said hello. I laughed, and then he spoke to me with his real voice. I instantly liked him.
Texting is just one element. Then there's MSN. Now that is really tricky. It's not easy having three conversations at the same time on MSN. Plus, I'm now also trying to hide from a few guys that I added to my contact list...like "The Kid" who still doesn't get it! So I'll be online talking to one of them, and then another one wants to talk. Plus then, "The Kid" will initiate a conversation. After half an hour my head is spinning and I feel so guilty. But then, I always have to remember that most likely, they're doing the exact same thing! None of us have said that we're 'exclusive' and so...this is just how you play the game. It's a real game alright. In fact, it's kind of a full time job, and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it! I don't like lying. But you have to. You can't tell someone that you're also seeing an awesome Black guy who makes your toes curl when you're together...right?! Just like I wouldn't want to know who Mr. Volleyball is with when I'm not around. We've all agreed to lie to each other. This is how it works. It's a little bit crazy, but my eyes are fully open, and I take everything they say with a grain of a salt.
Even though we're all on the same page, I still feel pangs of guilt about seeing more than one guy at a time. I keep having to remind myself that this is actually ok, and that it is what I should be doing right now. I haven't found anyone that I would want to be 'exclusive' with yet, and so why not play the field? I don't need to feel bad about seeing more than one guy.
Would a guy feel bad?
"Your Honour, I rest my case"...
But the most important thing ladies...is that you have to remember what you've said to each guy and not get them mixed up. They don't like it when you say things like "So you were in Japan for a while, so was I..." and they say: "No, I've never been to Japan before." Right, sorry about that. AWKWARD!!!
Or when you run into someone you know on the street and you introduce them to your "friend", and it takes you two seconds too long...to remember their name. In those two seconds he knows that he's not the only guy taking you out these days. Again kind of AWKWARD!!!
I'm currently involved (in one way or another) with three guys. I've had sex with two of them, and I'm not going to have sex with the third because that's way too trashy-even for me. One has to go before I introduce the third into my life that way.
Like I've said before, dating has changed since I was last on the scene. Things are so complicated now. The other day, I received text messages from all three of them all day. It is so hard trying to keep three separate conversations going at the same time! Thankfully, they have such different personalities that so far I haven't slipped up. Mr. Trouble is easy because he's always got the sexual innuendoes in his messages. I've got him figured out.
The other two guys, take more work. I haven't even gotten to them on the blog yet. All I'll say, is that they're both Asian...which is a new thing for me! For some reason, I don't know why, I've never dated an Asian guy before.
To make things easier for myself, I usually start all the conversations pretty much the same way, and so at first it's fine because I'm asking them the same questions and they're basically giving me the same answers. Then the conversations go in different directions. Like I mentioned with Mr. Trouble...it always goes back to sex. With Asian Guy #1-whom from now on, I'm going to call: Mr. Volleyball (I will blog about him soon). He and I have so much in common and we truly have a great time together. Our conversations are great. No effort is needed to keep them going. He makes me laugh all the time. I get excited when I see a text from him, because I know it's going to be sweet. We might actually like each other.
Asian Guy #2-whom from now on I'm going to call: Mr. Serious is a bit harder. He always brings the conversation back to his work, which I don't find all that interesting. (I will blog about him soon as well).
Mr. Volleyball and Mr. Serious have the same initials. Both their first names start with "J" and their last names start with "L". So naturally, they are right next to each other in my contact list on my phone. I can't tell you how many times I've had a slight panic attack thinking that I've just sent a text to the wrong one. I swear my heart stops for a second every time. Something's got to give, because it's just a matter of time before I screw up and get caught.
We text each other all the time, and yet we rarely speak to each other on the phone. At first I thought that it was kind of strange to talk that way instead of actually 'talking' to each other. But, now I think that in some ways it's more freeing. Some people don't like to talk on the phone, and are therefore nervous. This way, there are no awkward silences, and you have a moment to think of something sexy or funny to say. I am much more bold when I text them, than when I talk to them on the phone. For example, one of them jokingly asked me if I would let him eat a piece of cake off my belly. I responded: "That depends on whether you plan to use a fork or your tongue"!!! I would never have the guts to be so bold on the phone.
It's funny when you actually speak to them for the first time. You've had this idea in your mind through the conversations online, what they're like, and so when you hear their voice for the first time, sometimes it doesn't match your idea of them. I immediately liked the sound of Mr. Trouble's voice, and I also loved the sound of Mr. Volleyball's voice. They both matched my idea of what they would sound like. Mr. Serious however, didn't match. I haven't blogged about him yet, but online and in his text messages, he seems very passionate and intense. So, when I heard him talk the first time, I was quite surprised because he didn't sound that way at all. Plus, he was so boring to talk to on the phone. I was so confused about him, because we would have such great conversations online, and yet he seemed so flat on the phone. But, like I mentioned before, some people just don't like to talk on the phone.
When Mr. Volleyball and I decided to meet and go out for the first time, he actually said to me, before he called me to discuss what we wanted to do, that he hoped that I would like the sound of his voice. I laughed and said that I'm sure that I would. So when he called me, he purposely put on a really silly squeaky voice as he said hello. I laughed, and then he spoke to me with his real voice. I instantly liked him.
Texting is just one element. Then there's MSN. Now that is really tricky. It's not easy having three conversations at the same time on MSN. Plus, I'm now also trying to hide from a few guys that I added to my contact list...like "The Kid" who still doesn't get it! So I'll be online talking to one of them, and then another one wants to talk. Plus then, "The Kid" will initiate a conversation. After half an hour my head is spinning and I feel so guilty. But then, I always have to remember that most likely, they're doing the exact same thing! None of us have said that we're 'exclusive' and so...this is just how you play the game. It's a real game alright. In fact, it's kind of a full time job, and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it! I don't like lying. But you have to. You can't tell someone that you're also seeing an awesome Black guy who makes your toes curl when you're together...right?! Just like I wouldn't want to know who Mr. Volleyball is with when I'm not around. We've all agreed to lie to each other. This is how it works. It's a little bit crazy, but my eyes are fully open, and I take everything they say with a grain of a salt.
Even though we're all on the same page, I still feel pangs of guilt about seeing more than one guy at a time. I keep having to remind myself that this is actually ok, and that it is what I should be doing right now. I haven't found anyone that I would want to be 'exclusive' with yet, and so why not play the field? I don't need to feel bad about seeing more than one guy.
Would a guy feel bad?
"Your Honour, I rest my case"...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Cougartown
So I'm online one evening and I notice that I've got a new message. I click on his profile. "Wow, he's cute" I think to myself, and then I notice his age...
The message says "Hey where is this so-called cake?"
I email back "I'm not very good at sharing...but I'm working on it."
He then responds "Awww...not even one bite?"
Let's just call him: The Kid.
I think to myself, "well, he initiated the conversation, so why not?"
He's 26 years old!
Now ladies, let's discuss for a moment the term "Cougar".
Is there an age that you hit...say 45, when you're then considered a cougar? Or is it the age difference between the two of you that makes you a cougar? Yeah, I thought so too. Damn! I'm a cougar!
Immediately I can tell that we have some differences. He likes to snowboard. No seriously!
Last year I went tobagganing with my nephew, and I had a bruise on my butt for three weeks! That hill was slick. A sheet of ice really...very dangerous.
Instead of saying yes, he says "yuppers". LOL! What am I thinking?
He goes jogging every morning with his dog Comet. I think about jogging (sometimes) as I'm hitting the snooze button.
He's nice though, and he calls me sweetie. He says that he loves art, cooking and travelling. At least we have that in common, right?!
After talking one night on MSN, he asks me if I'd like to meet him for a drink Friday night. I say yes. He lives in the West and I live in the East, so we decide to meet in the middle. He suggests a nice area that's not too far from me, and says "Let's meet there around 10:00." I'm spotting another difference...usually I'm in bed by 10:00!! I think I can make an exception this time.
So we leave it at that, and I don't really hear from him that much...the odd text here and there. I'm thinking to myself "Wow, I don't really know very much about this guy at all." He never really talked about himself that much, like what he does or if he lives alone or has roommates. Then I think to myself..."What if this guy still lives at home?" Is that possible? I moved out of my parent's place when I was 17 to go to university. These days, 30 is the new 20...so now I'm not sure.
Cougar or no cougar I cannot date a guy who lives with his mother! That's ridiculous!
But I can't bring myself to ask him.
Ok, so now I'm thinking back over our conversations. I remember once he said that he was "taking the day off work to go up to his cottage to close it down for the year." Ok, so he didn't say "I'm taking the day off school" that's good.
One night he told me that he was making pasta. I remember because he said "yum yum" in the message. This guy is young! What am I doing?
What the hell! He's cute. Plus, more than anything I'm just so curious as to why he'd be interested in me...a 35 year old single mom. Then I think, "what if he never really looked at my profile" maybe he just looked at the small part (that you then click on to see the rest). Perhaps he just thought that I looked cute, and didn't really read further. Then I think, hmmm, he's never asked me about my son.
I have a feeling that this date is going to go terribly wrong.
Or...maybe he has a thing for older women. Ladies, we'll just have to wait and see.
Date Night:
He tells me that he'd like to meet in Yorkville, which is a trendy part of the city, and not too far for either of us to get to. So, I think "Hmm, maybe this guy has potential after all". He says that he's going to text me where to meet. I say that's fine.
So I'm getting dressed and this time, I feel that jeans are more my style being that he's a younger guy. So I choose my sexiest jeans to wear. I think for a moment about whether I should wear my Issey Miyake perfume...perhaps it'll be too much for him! Oh, well, I'll wear it.
I get his text, and he wants to meet at this sports bar/family restaurant. Usually, I leave the names of the places out, but ladies, this time I'm going to include it for full impact: Jack Astor's.
What? There is no way that there's a Jack Astor's in Yorkville. No way! So I Google it. It's not in Yorkville at all! It's close-by, but still. I have a bad feeling about this.
This time, I'm in no rush to get there. The weather is foul. So I decide to take a taxi. Even still, of course, I arrive exactly on time.
He's waiting with a drink at the bar. He's here before me. Hmmm. He sees me right away, and comes over to meet me. He's really tall. I like his clothes and he's wearing cool shoes, but I know instantly that I'm not attracted to him.
He goes in for a kiss on the cheek and we sit down at a table. The table has brown paper on it, and a plastic cup with crayons (for the kids). Oh man...Toto we're not in Yorkville anymore...
He never stops talking. He's one of those people who doesn't like those little moments of silence that natural conversations have. He just talks and talks and talks. In fact, I think this cougar makes him slightly nervous. I should eat him for my appetizer and then move on.
But no, I sit there in awe of how much he can talk about himself. Now he's talking about how he's unsure as to what direction he wants his life to go in. I think to myself "This is why my 'dating search' is strictly between the ages of 35-40. I know what I want,and I want the guy to know what he wants too. I have no time for this!
It's only been an hour and I'm looking for anyway out.
He works in retail, but is thinking of getting into photography (cheque please!).
He wants to be a wedding photographer! OMG. Why am I here? Well, I know why I'm here! I should have known better.
So I decide to give him some advice. I'm giving him career advice, what a hot date! I even tell him that I'll put him in touch with a friend of mine who's a professional photographer. That way, he could ask him what steps etc. he took in becoming a photographer. I just want out of this date.
I switch to water...and he still doesn't get the hint. He orders two more beers...and tries to kiss me over the table twice!
Finally I ask him about why he 'smiled' at me, considering that I'm older than him. He says that things like age don't bother him. I tell him that I never would have found him because I don't search for people his age, and that I'm not really interested...
He wants to know if I'd like to go to his cottage sometime.
Ok, have I been speaking in French this whole time?! I just told him that he basically has no chance, and that is what he says!
I tell him that he's a nice guy, but I'm just not interested because we're in two different stages of our lives and I'm looking for someone who has their life in order.
He wants to know if I'd like to go to a hockey game sometime because his family has season tickets. Still not getting the message. I thank him for the date and say that it's time for me to go. He says he'll talk to me tomorrow. Fine.
Just not getting it.
Maybe I should have taken advantage of the crayons on the table and drawn this guy a picture.
The message says "Hey where is this so-called cake?"
I email back "I'm not very good at sharing...but I'm working on it."
He then responds "Awww...not even one bite?"
Let's just call him: The Kid.
I think to myself, "well, he initiated the conversation, so why not?"
He's 26 years old!
Now ladies, let's discuss for a moment the term "Cougar".
Is there an age that you hit...say 45, when you're then considered a cougar? Or is it the age difference between the two of you that makes you a cougar? Yeah, I thought so too. Damn! I'm a cougar!
Immediately I can tell that we have some differences. He likes to snowboard. No seriously!
Last year I went tobagganing with my nephew, and I had a bruise on my butt for three weeks! That hill was slick. A sheet of ice really...very dangerous.
Instead of saying yes, he says "yuppers". LOL! What am I thinking?
He goes jogging every morning with his dog Comet. I think about jogging (sometimes) as I'm hitting the snooze button.
He's nice though, and he calls me sweetie. He says that he loves art, cooking and travelling. At least we have that in common, right?!
After talking one night on MSN, he asks me if I'd like to meet him for a drink Friday night. I say yes. He lives in the West and I live in the East, so we decide to meet in the middle. He suggests a nice area that's not too far from me, and says "Let's meet there around 10:00." I'm spotting another difference...usually I'm in bed by 10:00!! I think I can make an exception this time.
So we leave it at that, and I don't really hear from him that much...the odd text here and there. I'm thinking to myself "Wow, I don't really know very much about this guy at all." He never really talked about himself that much, like what he does or if he lives alone or has roommates. Then I think to myself..."What if this guy still lives at home?" Is that possible? I moved out of my parent's place when I was 17 to go to university. These days, 30 is the new 20...so now I'm not sure.
Cougar or no cougar I cannot date a guy who lives with his mother! That's ridiculous!
But I can't bring myself to ask him.
Ok, so now I'm thinking back over our conversations. I remember once he said that he was "taking the day off work to go up to his cottage to close it down for the year." Ok, so he didn't say "I'm taking the day off school" that's good.
One night he told me that he was making pasta. I remember because he said "yum yum" in the message. This guy is young! What am I doing?
What the hell! He's cute. Plus, more than anything I'm just so curious as to why he'd be interested in me...a 35 year old single mom. Then I think, "what if he never really looked at my profile" maybe he just looked at the small part (that you then click on to see the rest). Perhaps he just thought that I looked cute, and didn't really read further. Then I think, hmmm, he's never asked me about my son.
I have a feeling that this date is going to go terribly wrong.
Or...maybe he has a thing for older women. Ladies, we'll just have to wait and see.
Date Night:
He tells me that he'd like to meet in Yorkville, which is a trendy part of the city, and not too far for either of us to get to. So, I think "Hmm, maybe this guy has potential after all". He says that he's going to text me where to meet. I say that's fine.
So I'm getting dressed and this time, I feel that jeans are more my style being that he's a younger guy. So I choose my sexiest jeans to wear. I think for a moment about whether I should wear my Issey Miyake perfume...perhaps it'll be too much for him! Oh, well, I'll wear it.
I get his text, and he wants to meet at this sports bar/family restaurant. Usually, I leave the names of the places out, but ladies, this time I'm going to include it for full impact: Jack Astor's.
What? There is no way that there's a Jack Astor's in Yorkville. No way! So I Google it. It's not in Yorkville at all! It's close-by, but still. I have a bad feeling about this.
This time, I'm in no rush to get there. The weather is foul. So I decide to take a taxi. Even still, of course, I arrive exactly on time.
He's waiting with a drink at the bar. He's here before me. Hmmm. He sees me right away, and comes over to meet me. He's really tall. I like his clothes and he's wearing cool shoes, but I know instantly that I'm not attracted to him.
He goes in for a kiss on the cheek and we sit down at a table. The table has brown paper on it, and a plastic cup with crayons (for the kids). Oh man...Toto we're not in Yorkville anymore...
He never stops talking. He's one of those people who doesn't like those little moments of silence that natural conversations have. He just talks and talks and talks. In fact, I think this cougar makes him slightly nervous. I should eat him for my appetizer and then move on.
But no, I sit there in awe of how much he can talk about himself. Now he's talking about how he's unsure as to what direction he wants his life to go in. I think to myself "This is why my 'dating search' is strictly between the ages of 35-40. I know what I want,and I want the guy to know what he wants too. I have no time for this!
It's only been an hour and I'm looking for anyway out.
He works in retail, but is thinking of getting into photography (cheque please!).
He wants to be a wedding photographer! OMG. Why am I here? Well, I know why I'm here! I should have known better.
So I decide to give him some advice. I'm giving him career advice, what a hot date! I even tell him that I'll put him in touch with a friend of mine who's a professional photographer. That way, he could ask him what steps etc. he took in becoming a photographer. I just want out of this date.
I switch to water...and he still doesn't get the hint. He orders two more beers...and tries to kiss me over the table twice!
Finally I ask him about why he 'smiled' at me, considering that I'm older than him. He says that things like age don't bother him. I tell him that I never would have found him because I don't search for people his age, and that I'm not really interested...
He wants to know if I'd like to go to his cottage sometime.
Ok, have I been speaking in French this whole time?! I just told him that he basically has no chance, and that is what he says!
I tell him that he's a nice guy, but I'm just not interested because we're in two different stages of our lives and I'm looking for someone who has their life in order.
He wants to know if I'd like to go to a hockey game sometime because his family has season tickets. Still not getting the message. I thank him for the date and say that it's time for me to go. He says he'll talk to me tomorrow. Fine.
Just not getting it.
Maybe I should have taken advantage of the crayons on the table and drawn this guy a picture.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Mmmmuscles...
So one morning I was up kind of early and I thought that I'd just log on to the dating site as I drink my coffee. You know to check out if I received any new smiles etc. This message pops up in the instant message part(where you can chat live). The guy says: "You are stunning. May I introduce myself?"
I click delete, because my friend told me not to bother with instant messaging. So that was that, and on I went with my day...
Let's just call him: the guy I plan to have lots of sex with...no that's no catchy enough.
Hmmm. I know!
Let's just call him: Mr. Trouble.
A few nights later, I was on again and he pops up and wants to talk. So this time, I click on his profile and read what it says about him. It doesn't say very much actually. What I do know is that he's Black, 5"10. He was born in Trinidad. Lived in New York and Germany for a while, likes motorcycles and going out to dance clubs. He's 37. He likes to stay fit and often goes to the gym. He's cute! Mmmmuscles!!!
So I engage. I respond to his instant message. I can't remember what we talked about. I think I said something like "I'm not really one for instant messaging, email me..." And he said "I'm not really one for email", and gave me his phone number. This guy gives me tingles.
So the next day, I call him. I instantly like the sound of his voice. It's both smooth and deep. I ask him what he's doing, and he tells me that he's at Future Shop buying a T.V.
Ah, what? That's not sexy. So he's telling me about the T.V. that he's buying...
Ah, excuse me? That's not sexy. Why answer your phone? I ask him if I should call him later, or would he like to call me when he's done with his T.V. He says no, that he's at the cash right now and so he can talk. Fine. So we have a weird conversation where he's partly talking about extended warantees (I guess with the sales person) and then he comes back to me and asks me something about my life. I do remember that he asked me where I lived twice. Pay attention please! There will be a test!
Anyway, then he tells me that he's home and that he has to let me go because he's going to lose reception when he goes into the underground parking of his condo. I say fine. He says that he'll call me back. Hmmm...Girl Friday, trust your gut!
So I wait for a bit, and then I think "he's not calling". I decide to go online (why not right?) as I'm waiting. He's there and he instant messages me "I lost your number", so I give it to him, but he wants to talk online...I do for a bit, and then I tell him that I've got to go. Trust your gut! I think this guy is a total player.
So over the next week or so he calls me at odd times like 2:30 in the afternoon. I call him back and I get his voicemail. We talk occasionally, but never for very long. Basically, we keep leaving messages on each other's voicemail. Finally, I just decide to throw away his number and delete him from my phone.
The weekend passes and Sunday night I'm online. Again he pops up, and says something like "I lost your number". I tell him flat out "I think maybe that's a good thing".
"No!" he says, "I really want to meet you".
So we decide for some reason to talk on msn. We have a pretty flirtatious and somewhat "R" rated conversation. In fact, he's managed to make me want to meet him too. This guy is trouble for sure. A total player, I can just tell. I am completely intrigued. Did I mention that he's cute? Mmmmuscles remember? What should we do ladies?
I surrender and tell him that I'm free on Wednesday. We have a date.
Monday morning I get a text from him. It says: Good morning. How's your day so far?
Tuesday afternoon I get a text from him. It says: Anticipating tomorrow night.
Wednesday morning I get a text from him. It says: Are you ready for me???
OMG!
Date Night
So my friend comes over to baby sit for me and this time I'm prepared. His number is programmed into my phone, and I've set up my voicemail! Yay Girl Friday! I'm looking good, and this time I pull out my secret weapon: L'eau (my perfume) by Issey Miyake...no man can resist it.
Off I go to meet him at this nice restaurant nearby. Of course, I'm exactly on time. I tell the waiter that I need a table for two. He seats me near the back, and as I sit down he asks me what perfume I'm wearing (I'm not lying!!). Yes! I think to myself...it's already working. I tell him, and he says that it smells "incredible". I smile and say thanks.
Mr. Trouble arrives and greets me with a hug and a kiss. He says "Wow, you smell great. Nice to finally meet you." Awesome, another man crumbling at my feet...thank-you Issey Miyake! He sits down across the booth from me and tells me that I look beautiful. Aww.
He's more than cute. I can't take my eyes off him! I can see that the feeling is mutual. There's some serious chemistry happening here.
I honestly can not remember what we talked about! What I do remember is when he decided to join me on my side of the booth. He puts his arms around me, hesitates for a second and then kisses me. He just doesn't stop. I forgot how intoxicating it is when you kiss someone new for the first time. Then he orders me a piece of chocolate cake!!! Wow. What more can I say? I get to have my cake and eat it too...
I don't know how I managed to resist him enough to get him to drive me home. Even when he drops me off at my place, he just won't let me go...this guy is hot.
I thank him for the date, and he says that he'll talk to me tomorrow.
I go upstairs and dish with my friend about how awesome the night was!
I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep.
Apparently he feels the same way...he text messaged me four times in the night.
Sorry ladies, those ones are just for me...
I click delete, because my friend told me not to bother with instant messaging. So that was that, and on I went with my day...
Let's just call him: the guy I plan to have lots of sex with...no that's no catchy enough.
Hmmm. I know!
Let's just call him: Mr. Trouble.
A few nights later, I was on again and he pops up and wants to talk. So this time, I click on his profile and read what it says about him. It doesn't say very much actually. What I do know is that he's Black, 5"10. He was born in Trinidad. Lived in New York and Germany for a while, likes motorcycles and going out to dance clubs. He's 37. He likes to stay fit and often goes to the gym. He's cute! Mmmmuscles!!!
So I engage. I respond to his instant message. I can't remember what we talked about. I think I said something like "I'm not really one for instant messaging, email me..." And he said "I'm not really one for email", and gave me his phone number. This guy gives me tingles.
So the next day, I call him. I instantly like the sound of his voice. It's both smooth and deep. I ask him what he's doing, and he tells me that he's at Future Shop buying a T.V.
Ah, what? That's not sexy. So he's telling me about the T.V. that he's buying...
Ah, excuse me? That's not sexy. Why answer your phone? I ask him if I should call him later, or would he like to call me when he's done with his T.V. He says no, that he's at the cash right now and so he can talk. Fine. So we have a weird conversation where he's partly talking about extended warantees (I guess with the sales person) and then he comes back to me and asks me something about my life. I do remember that he asked me where I lived twice. Pay attention please! There will be a test!
Anyway, then he tells me that he's home and that he has to let me go because he's going to lose reception when he goes into the underground parking of his condo. I say fine. He says that he'll call me back. Hmmm...Girl Friday, trust your gut!
So I wait for a bit, and then I think "he's not calling". I decide to go online (why not right?) as I'm waiting. He's there and he instant messages me "I lost your number", so I give it to him, but he wants to talk online...I do for a bit, and then I tell him that I've got to go. Trust your gut! I think this guy is a total player.
So over the next week or so he calls me at odd times like 2:30 in the afternoon. I call him back and I get his voicemail. We talk occasionally, but never for very long. Basically, we keep leaving messages on each other's voicemail. Finally, I just decide to throw away his number and delete him from my phone.
The weekend passes and Sunday night I'm online. Again he pops up, and says something like "I lost your number". I tell him flat out "I think maybe that's a good thing".
"No!" he says, "I really want to meet you".
So we decide for some reason to talk on msn. We have a pretty flirtatious and somewhat "R" rated conversation. In fact, he's managed to make me want to meet him too. This guy is trouble for sure. A total player, I can just tell. I am completely intrigued. Did I mention that he's cute? Mmmmuscles remember? What should we do ladies?
I surrender and tell him that I'm free on Wednesday. We have a date.
Monday morning I get a text from him. It says: Good morning. How's your day so far?
Tuesday afternoon I get a text from him. It says: Anticipating tomorrow night.
Wednesday morning I get a text from him. It says: Are you ready for me???
OMG!
Date Night
So my friend comes over to baby sit for me and this time I'm prepared. His number is programmed into my phone, and I've set up my voicemail! Yay Girl Friday! I'm looking good, and this time I pull out my secret weapon: L'eau (my perfume) by Issey Miyake...no man can resist it.
Off I go to meet him at this nice restaurant nearby. Of course, I'm exactly on time. I tell the waiter that I need a table for two. He seats me near the back, and as I sit down he asks me what perfume I'm wearing (I'm not lying!!). Yes! I think to myself...it's already working. I tell him, and he says that it smells "incredible". I smile and say thanks.
Mr. Trouble arrives and greets me with a hug and a kiss. He says "Wow, you smell great. Nice to finally meet you." Awesome, another man crumbling at my feet...thank-you Issey Miyake! He sits down across the booth from me and tells me that I look beautiful. Aww.
He's more than cute. I can't take my eyes off him! I can see that the feeling is mutual. There's some serious chemistry happening here.
I honestly can not remember what we talked about! What I do remember is when he decided to join me on my side of the booth. He puts his arms around me, hesitates for a second and then kisses me. He just doesn't stop. I forgot how intoxicating it is when you kiss someone new for the first time. Then he orders me a piece of chocolate cake!!! Wow. What more can I say? I get to have my cake and eat it too...
I don't know how I managed to resist him enough to get him to drive me home. Even when he drops me off at my place, he just won't let me go...this guy is hot.
I thank him for the date, and he says that he'll talk to me tomorrow.
I go upstairs and dish with my friend about how awesome the night was!
I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep.
Apparently he feels the same way...he text messaged me four times in the night.
Sorry ladies, those ones are just for me...
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