in the mood for love

Ok, so I was online one night, and I noticed that I received an email from another cute Asian guy. His email said: "You should wear your vintage hats out!" In my profile, I mention that I collect vintage hats, but that "I only wear them in the house..." So I click on his profile to see what he's about. He has some cool pictures of himself up. He's a photographer. He's athletic, he plays volleyball in a league. He loves movies. We actually seem to have a lot in common. So I decide to respond to his email.
The next day, he sends me an email asking me what movies I like. In particular, if there are any recent ones that I've seen lately that impressed me with their dialogue (in my profile, I mention that I like old movies because they always have great dialogue).
Well, at least I know he's read my profile!

Let's just call him: Mr. Volleyball.

After sending a few emails back and forth we decide to talk on MSN one night. We have an AWESOME conversation. He's really funny. We talked about all kinds of things. He told me about how he wants to learn Cantonese, but that his mother (who speaks Mandarin) wouldn't approve. I told him that he should learn it in secret...how "scandalous!" I said. He laughed at that. He's a CBC (which is a new term for me...a Canadian Born Chinese). He's never been to China, and he doesn't really speak Chinese.
We talked about life and the places that we've lived. We talked about the countries that we've travelled to, and where our favourite trips have been. His was a road trip in Europe, whereas mine was a trip to China. I told him that in a past life I was Chinese! (I really believe that!) He laughed and said: "shopping at T&T doesn't make you Chinese in a past life!" So then I went into more detail...and I think I've got him partially convinced. We then talked about what kinds of food we love and what our last meals on earth would be. I told him about my love of desserts. He said that he's got a banana cream pie in the fridge as we speak...birds of a feather...

He's really into movies and so naturally we talked about what types of films we like. From the French film makers like Goddard and movies like Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, to the old classics to current film makers like Tarantino. He then asked me if there were any Asian film makers that I liked. Without hesitation, I said "Yes, one of my most favourite directors is Asian". He said "Really? Who?" I said "Wong Kar Wai".
He told me that he was very impressed. He said that many of his Asian friends don't even know who he is. He also loves him. He asked me which one of his films was my favourite. I said "Chungking Express".

Now if you haven't seen a Wong Kar Wai film, you truly are missing out. His films are exquisite. They are amazing. They usually take place in Hong Kong, and are so beautiful- visually and thematically. They're always about heartbreak and love, and the connections (no matter how small) that people have between each other. I urge you to see Chungking Express. At the time, it had a huge impact on my life!

I asked him which one he liked the most. He said that Chungking Express was awesome, but that without a doubt his favourite is "in the mood for love".

That one is sooooooooo good...so romantic...

I need to take a deep breath for a moment here.

Right then and there, I decide that I must meet this guy.

He asks me if I'd like to go out sometime. I say "are you free tomorrow night?" He says yes, and then we discussed what we should do...from meeting at T&T for a shopping date...to finding an indoor arena to go ice skating in!!! This guys is totally right up my alley. Oh, no!!!

Date Nights

For our first date, we met at Yonge and Dundas and simply walked West. We walked and talked along Queen St. until we found a cool place to eat. We chose a Tibetan restaurant, which was perfect. It didn't really matter though, because we could have been anywhere our conversation was just so great. It was effortless and fun. We ended the night by walking back to Yonge and Dundas. As we walked we kissed a few times and he held my hand, which was cute. We made plans to see each other again. What a great date!

So over the course of a few weeks we've had a few dates here and there. Movie nights, shopping together, long walks...but my favourite date was when he took me out for sushi...

Again, we met at Yonge and Dundas. This time he wanted to take me to his favourite sushi restaurant. It was a nice place. It felt really Japanese in the sense that it felt like a place that I would go to when I lived in Japan. Right away he scored huge points with me because he ordered us some hot sake. Most people like it cold, but I love it hot. That was a good sign. When it came time to order food, he asked me what I wanted and said that he likes everything...how nice! Much better than my last sushi experience! We have the same taste in food as well. We shared everything and talked and talked and talked. We talked a lot about movies. I think I impressed him with the amount of Asian films that I've seen. What impressed me the most about him, was his sense of humour. We find the same things funny. We left the restaurant and went to a popular dessert place for some cake. (I love that thanks to my 'catch phrase' every date ends with cake!!)
But ladies, the date didn't actually end with cake...it ended with me inviting him back to my place!!! So he came home with me that night...and it was great! That was my first time sleeping with an Asian guy!! Hurray!! He knows what he's doing, and he's "here to represent!"- his words, not mine. The next morning we slept in and then we went out for breakfast. It was fun! He couldn't keep his hands off me!

This guy is fun, and kind of kinky. He was the one that asked me online one night if he could eat a piece of cake off my belly...Another night we were talking online and he asked me to send him a sexy picture of myself...so I agreed and took a few shots of myself in a really sexy bra...and I emailed them to him.
He emails me back and says "did you send them?" I said yes, and double checked his email address which is his name at gmail...
He emails again...still nothing!!! So then I repeat his email address to him, and he says "NOOO!! My name plus '88' at gmail..."
Ohhhhhhhhh Nooooooooo!!!!! I've just sent half naked pictures of myself to some random Chinese man!!! I call him immediately and he's laughing so hard he can barely talk to me!! So not funny!!!! Actually, it's hilarious!! I can't stop laughing either. I beg him to send a half naked picture of himself to the same address as a joke, but he won't!
Finally, I send him my pictures again because he's really dying to see them now. He says that the 'other' guy will be pretty thrilled when he opens up his email!!

So we continue to have a good time together out on dates and in the bedroom. Although, if I must compare...Mr. Trouble has got him beat in that department. However, we can actually carry on a real conversation...

One night we're in bed, and he asks me if I'm seeing other guys...here we go...
I tell him that I've been out on a few dates. He asks if I've had sex with any of them.

Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ok, so I was partially honest with him. I told him yes, with one guy, but that it's now over (small lie) because we didn't really have anything in common (completely true).

He says, "A white guy?"...

Ok, Girl Friday...think about this carefully...you like this guy...
Ummm...no...

He's a little surprised because he knows that he's the first Asian guy that I've been with...it takes him a moment...and then he clues in. "A Black dude?" he says.

Ummm...yes...

I immediately regret telling him the truth. He won't let it go. He wants to know what he's like in bed. How they quite literally 'compare' to each other. I don't divulge that information. In fact, I tell him that I really like being with him, and that I love that we have so much in common. He equates this to him not being as 'good' in bed...

Things kind of go downhill from there. Over the next few weeks, he's really hot and cold with me. I'm realising that he's actually quite insecure. He keeps sending me all these mixed messages...I'm totally confused. Sometimes he tells me that he doesn't want anything serious. That he wants it to be 'casually intimate'. I say that's fine with me. Then he'll change his tune and says that he wants me all to himself, and gets upset when I tell him that I've got plans without him. Other times, he's making sure that I know that we're not 'exclusive'. My gut says that he likes me, but maybe I'm totally wrong. He definitely doesn't want me to know it, if he does.
I like this guy, but it's starting to not be much fun anymore- outside and inside the bedroom. Oh man...what have I done?

I know exactly what I've done! I was honest with him! Lesson learned. Lie when it comes to sex. Even when you think they're mature enough for the real answer to the question THAT THEY ASKED...lie!

And so ladies, unfortunately, life imitates art in this one...

Just like in the film...the main characters who are so completely perfect for each other in every way...somehow manage to let it all fall through their fingers...and they move on...apart...

fin